The 3-D really didn’t help. The fact that I went to see Louis Leterrier’s Clash of the Titans at midnight did in fact make it more entertaining though. Had I gone to a regular showing, one that did not include a rowdy and enjoyable audience, then I doubt I would have been able to sit through the entire movie without squirming in my seat. Having seen the original film about a dozen times, I think it’s safe to say that sometimes you should let a sleeping dog lie.

The story is fairly faithful to the actual narrative, only this time around the movie takes a more bang-for-your-buck approach than the original. There’s nothing too complex about what’s going on and the premise is very simple: Sam Worthington, as Perseus, vs. Hades and his minions. Perseus, who’s a demigod, continually reminds the audience that even though he has godly blood flowing through his veins, he’s going to defeat his enemies as a man. He says this way too many times and it does nothing except prove annoying. And since he can’t beat Hades, ’cause he’s a god, Perseus will have to settle for kicking the crap out of every other nasty thing that heads his way, including giant scorpions and Medusa. Worthington’s technique for dealing with CGI baddies is to scowl nastily and declare that he is a MAN!

Sam Worthington's approach to "acting" for this movie

The movie is perfect for sitting on the couch on a Sunday afternoon with absolutely nothing else to do that merits attention, or if you’re below the age of thirteen, I imagine this might be the most glorious thing your eyes may ever have witnessed. For the rest of us, Clash of the Titans will pass off as something fun. When I say “fun” though, I mean “fun” in the way that it’s fun to attend your little cousin’s birthday party, what with a DJ playing songs that are much too raunchy for a bunch of kids to be dancing to.

Sam Worthington for his part brings almost nothing to the role. He gives about as bland a performance as possible and I found that I started caring more for his comrades and maybe even the Kraken then I did for Perseus. Liam Neeson as Zeus is forced to wear the sort of battle armor one might see at the Metropolitan Opera and he just seems bored with the role. Granted, the best part of the movie, the moment in which the entire audience broke into applause, was upon his saying “Release the Kraken!” which might’ve actually been the best bit the film had to offer.

The original Clash of the Titans, featuring the special effects of Ray Harryhausen, was not a great movie, but it was artistic and amusing. This new 2010 version has nothing fascinating to offer the viewer; we’ve seen it all before and we’ve seen it look better. When I first saw the trailer, I was of the assumption that this movie would not be good. As more and more trailers popped up, my hopes rose to the point where I had high expectations. Sadly, all those expectations were promptly shot down. So for what it’s worth, if you’re bored and lacking of things to occupy yourself, then at you own peril, consider taking a peak at Clash of the Titans…or don’t and I won’t blame you.

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