Okay, so that’s not entirely true, but it’s close enough. A couple days ago a most terrible and horrible thing happened: Spider-Man 4 was cancelled!!!!! But then, just as quickly, Sony decided to reboot the franchise. What’s happened is that the movie series of Spider-Man got its own case of a Brand New Day retcon and now everyone’s going to pretend that the first 3 films never happened. That’s right, this means that nothing that took place within any of the Spidey flicks took place, not the relationship between Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson, nor even the disastrously conceived strutting down New York dance scene.

Director Sam Raimi is also being taken off the case, along with Tobey Maguire; they are both being sent off into the bowels of darkness where, if Sony has their way, they will never return from. John Malkovich who recently expressed interest in playing the part of the Vulture in the next Spider-Man movie, will NOT be playing the Vulture in the next Spider-Man movie.

As a matter of fact though, Sony already has a script for this new series, written by James Vanderbilt. Apparently, Sony had the script for a while in case they decided they needed a contingency plan, or in case they decided they hate babies and wanted something to work with. Now WHY is this happening??!!! I have no clue!!! There is no legitimate reason as to why this event is taking place, though somehow I feel as though this guy may somehow be involved:

So yeah, Sony made a deal with the proverbial devil and in exchange for getting a brand new series, and all the while no one is powerful enough to stop them! ‘Sigh,’ until then, directors ranging from James Cameron to Wes Anderson are being looked at as possible candidates to launch the next generation of Spider-Man. Hopefully no one or nothing else will be sacrificed to the Sony gods to ensure that a sequel finally gets made.

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