I’ll admit it: I went to the midnight showing of The Twilight Sage: New Moon, and frankly, there was no reason to have done so. This movie proved once again how trailers can be deceptive, more so then any corrupt politician could ever dream of being. From the trailer, I was expecting awesome vampire fights along with insane werewolf action, but is that what I got? No! Sure there were vampire fights, yet somehow managing to include teenage angst. There were werewolf fights, though apparently whenever anyone turns into a werewolf, their clothes get torn to shreds but are automatically reconstituted the moment the character is seen again.

One of the big problems I had with attending the midnight showing was the squeals and random moments of inane clapping whenever Edward moved!!! For that matter, whenever Jacob or Edward appeared on screen it were as though everyone in the audience had reached some level of nirvana. Now I have no problem with people clapping in midnight showings, hence one of the reasons I go to them as often as I can, but there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed, and golly was it run over with the force of a ballistic missile.

The movie, in and of itself, is crap. I’m sorry to all the Twilight fans out there, but there is just no way to defend the poor acting, the ridiculously uncomfortable dialogue, and awkward moments between virtually every single character. Truthfully I would have been happier watching the trailers alone, left to imagine that the movie might be good, when in fact it was quite the opposite. I guess that’s my punishment though, excitedly hurrying over to a theater full of women of all ages and perhaps only 6 men in the entire audience.

Another problem I have with the movie was the whole abstinence  theme or whatever you want to call it. Sure, I get it, some people believe in saving themselves for marriage before they start doing ‘naughty’ things, and I’m cool with that. My problem is when they start trying to incorporate the same belief into a freaking vampire movie! No one in the movie even so much gets a kiss in, except maybe once or twice and even then, Edward throws himself away, unable to stand things getting “hot and heavy”. Every other time, Bella and whatever man-whore that’s decided to throw himself at her feet get close to kissing, something conveniently gets in the way. Whether it be those pesky telephones that are working for the die-hard abstinence fanatics, or even invasion of privacy by other miscellaneous characters that no one cares about.

Edward says he loves Bella, though obviously vampires have a different take on love from what’s considered normal. Apparently their definition of love includes sneaking into their loved one’s room constantly when they’re not there, watching them when they sleep, projecting themselves into their MIND for absolutely no reason, throwing them into furniture (as though Edward couldn’t simply throw Jasper away without first hulking out on Bella), and leaving them heartbroken, among other things. Yeah…right. Anyway, I don’t know what else I can say about this movie without going insane and starting up drinking, so I think I’ll just finish with this.

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